There is nothing more frustrating and worrisome for family members and friends mourning over the death of a loved one, then the additional travail of trying to decipher and predict the deceased wishes. There are many decisions to be made; did the deceased wanted a burial or preferred cremation, who gets grandma’s sugar bowl, who should be invited to the services, among a long list of other questions. To relieve the burden, consider writing a letter of instruction, which will allow your family to grieve and know who to call and where to find the important and necessary information about you.
A letter of instruction does not replace a will, which explains how you want your larger property and assets distributed, and names an executor that will enforce the guidelines of the will. A letter of instruction is a bit less formal and more flexible than a will. It supplements a will and allows an individual to address items and information that are more personal, and not included in a will. A letter of instruction does not require a lawyer and can be drafted by the individual, who can change it as he or she wishes as circumstances change.
Plan Your Funeral As you can imagine, it would be easier to plan a funeral for yourself than for someone else, because you know how you would want it. Only you would know what you want, like if you want to be cremated or buried, and if you want to be cremated where to you want your ashes to go. If you wish to be buried, where to you want to be buried. What type of service do you want? Do you want a funeral or a memorial service, and where? What tone do you want to set, a celebration of life or a more traditional funeral service. Who would you like invited, and if you have speakers or want someone to sing, who are those people and what songs would you like?
A family member, unless told or is given clear instructions of your wishes, could feel a lot of guilt and worry trying to guess what your intentions or wishes were when you were alive. If you have all the details planned already, let your family know how and where to find your instructions in your letter of instruction.
If you would like your favorite charity to receive donations, or if you are an organ or tissue donor, include the details of who to contact to make sure both types of donations are received. You can even do your family a favor by writing your own obituary and providing the names of the publications you would like it published in.
Detail Your Finances Not only will your estate manager, or administrator want to know your funeral plans, but they will need to know all the details about your finances. Not how much money you have and who’s getting it, but the details like contact information about your attorney, insurance agent, financial advisor, employer, or stock broker. Providing a detailed list of all financial accounts like your pension, retirement, brokerage, and bank accounts, can help reduce the stress of trying to track the information down. It will also help your family and administrator know where to look for assets to distribute to your beneficiaries instead of guessing. You should also include contact information and instructions on how to find and contact your account beneficiaries.
Paper Trail We all have important documentation like a birth certificate, social security card, will, deed, life insurance policies, tax returns, marriage licenses or divorce decrees, etc. We also have documentation about our assets like mortgage, car loans, credit cards, etc. Outlining your accounts and documents, and providing the information of where to find them in your letter of instruction can reduce the time and effort your family and friends could potentially take to find them, and allow them to grieve and celebrate your life with less stress.
Helping your family settle your affairs simply and with fewer questions upon your death can be done easily with a letter of instruction. As a part of your estate plan, like with the rest of your planning documents, your letter of instruction should be reviewed and updated annually, and be stored where it is accessible by your executor and relatives.
